Today's word is: Integrity

     Raising children is a challenge. Some days, it seems an insurmountable task- testing your patience, knowledge and sanity. Lately Dane, my 6 year old son has decided to start lying on a regular basis. Granted, the majority of these lies are silly, fluffy and white and don't really cause any major damage to him or anyone else. But it has made me wonder- are we naturally inclined to lie? How does someone so small seem to be drawn to the concept of being dishonest? Well, the jury is still out on that one. I personally believe that it is just another way to test limits. Another chapter in the book of children wanting to break free from their parents and the rules they set. An ugly little glimpse into what even the tiniest people will do to get what they want, without consequence.
    After a series of lies, I tried to have a conversation with him about lying. I covered all the usual bases- how there is no need to lie, how he will be in MORE trouble for lying than for the actual offense, how starting a pattern of lying creates a lack of trust (aka "the boy who cried wolf"). He listened to me and seemed to be trying to absorb the concept. I felt like mother of the year, of course. I had gotten through to him and we would be having no more trouble in this area. Well, untilt he next day that is.....argh.
   So, we graduated to physical labor. That afternoon he got the privelege of helping me hoe up the weed infested garden area in front of our house. When I explained the punishment to him all he said was "Are you SERIOUS". I said "Yes, I am DEAD serious. In the real world, when you screw up there are consequences. As a grown up, when you mess up you will find yourself in predicament you don't like. You might lose a great job, or a great friend. While you are helping me, it will give you time to think about what that means,"  I dug them up, he had to put them in a 5 gallon bucketand haul them to the ditch line. He didn't argue or complain, which suprised me. He worked quietly, sweating and panting back and forth. When he was done, I asked him what he thought about lying NOW. He has decided that he is not fond of physical labor and will try to think twice before telling the next whopper. Progress!
  After we were back inside, I decided it was a great time to teach him about integrity, Big word for a 6 year old? Maybe. I think that integrity may be the most inportant word we can teach our kids. The actual definition is as follows.

in·teg·ri·ty

   /ɪnˈtɛgrɪti/ Show Spelled[in-teg-ri-tee]

noun

1.

adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

 

   That one word covers the entire basis of the kind of man I want him to be. It is not only abotu being honest, but about knowing who you are and what you stand for. It is about being certain of your beliefs and doing everything in your power to stick to them- even when it isn't the easy way to go. ESPECIALLY when it isn't easy. You can't prove what you are made of unless you are tested. There are so many areas of your life where this is true. There are several phrases you might have heard over the years that hint at this idea. For instance, "If you pray for patience, God will give you the opputunity to be patient".  You can insert any number of other words in place of patience and it still applies. Life presents you obstacles all the time that aren't obstacles at all- but instead a chance to overcome a glitch in your character. A chance to practice at becoming a better person.

    So today's word is integrity. It should be everyone's word of the day every day.Think of how much better the world would be if we all tried to have more of it.  Know who you are. Do what you say. Be trustworthy. Be convinced of your values so that you may convince others when the time comes. Tell the truth- no matter what or who it costs you. If you are going to have to cover it up later, then don't do it to start with. If it feels wrong, it probably is. Admit it the minute you realize you are wrong. Be deliberate in your words and deeds. Don't let a single sentence come from your lips that isn't intentional. Make sure you know yourself well enough to know when to shut up. All of these things are a part of having integrity.

   Since we are inevitably judged by our actions I have decided not to worry too much. I realize the majority of what my son will learn is what I, as a parent, am modeling for him. If I live my life with integrity, and show him what it means, it will become second nature to him. All of the talking in the world won't have any impact if I am not showing it in my own character. I will be the first to admit that my edges are a little rough sometimes. I DO say exactly what I mean, which can come back and bite me. The older I get, the more I am learning to control that part of it. I am honest, loyal and know exactly where I stand on just about everything. Love me or hate me, at least you are seeing ME. As Dane grows up, I hope that he can understand how important that is.

  He is only 6, so only time will tell if he will absorb any of this.  If he does, he will be the kind of man that I pray everyday to help him become. If he doesn't, I will have a nice garden patch- and he will have calluses on his hands to prove that his Mommy loved him enough to never give up.

 

Proverbs 22:6-Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Tru dat.