Harper House Rules

  I have a 5, almost 6 year old daughter now. She is bright, funny and often times, tempermental. She is sometimes like a teenager stuck in a tiny little body. Raising a girl is a different experience for sure. Being male or female comes with it's own set of baggage. It's own set of restrictions or expectations. Being aware of those things will help you get through life. It helps you at least understand what you are up against, and makes things easier to navigate at times.   At dinner, the other night, she was dropping hints. About food of all things. About being "almost done" and "it sure was good". It was code for "I'd like some more." It completely struck me as a teachable moment. Yes. For a 5 year old. Here is basically how the conversation went: Me- " Are you saying you are still hungry and would like more food?" Zo- "Yes."  Me-" Well, then just say you would like more. There is no reason to hint about...

  I woke up today feeling empty. Just as empty as I was this same time last week. A week ago today, my precious Mamaw left this world. She slipped out of her old, disease stricken body like slipping off a Sunday dress. In the end, it was peaceful. After several weeks of instense pain, she was finally free. And although I am grateful she is no longer suffering, I am left with a feeling of emptiness I can barely put into words.   After the actual event, there was the process. The visitation, the funeral, the burial. And I walked away from all of that still feeling a void. Not just a void over our loss, but a void over what I felt was a failure on my part. That I didn’t stand and speak for her, that I didn’t represent her. That instead of her being personalized and people leaving the funeral feeling closer to her than when they came- there was a definitive gap in anyone really conveying the essence of her- a wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. Although I realize it is ...

Here is another project I did a while back, thought I would share it also. I decided I would build Dane some toy boxes. I could just buy them, but where is the fun in that??:) So, it all started with some cabinet doors I found at a flea market. I bought them with no purpose in mind at the time, just liked them, and at $1 piece, I couldn't resist. Here they are:  When I decided to build the toy boxes, I thought these would work great as lids. Now I just needed the sides. I lucked out and found this old shelf made of solid wood for $5 at a yard sale. I tore it apart and started measuring and cutting. I also ended up going to my grandparent's house and rummaging through the barn for some other wood and sound several solid boards to help me out.  Here is the assembled box. I put on hinges and lift bars that I bought from Lowes- which was honestly the most expensive part of this whole thing. About $20 on that stuff.  Here is the first phase.....I could have left them wood-...

Well...I will just go ahead and admit it, I am CHEAP. Painfully cheap. As in- "there is no way I would ever pay full price or buy a new anything" kind of cheap. Besides, it is hard to get creative with new and expensive stuff. But, on the other hand, if you buy it used and cheap, then it frees you up to turn it into a one-of-a-kind piece that you can be proud of, without much fear of messing up. Having said that, I do not want to sacrifice style or beauty just because I don't have a botomless bank account. Where I might have to skimp on money, I try to make up for in creativity.So, for this project, I bought a $40 dresser at a used furniture store (solid maple, with dovetailed drawers!) and a $20 desk from craigslist here are the before and afters. All it took was a couple of cans of good spray paint, modge podge, some scrapbook paper, and rub on polyurethane. Voila! I am pretty happy with the result.  I probably could have changed the drawer pulls, but I kind of likes...

  It is a saying I use often. I was thinking yesterday about a conversation I had with my Dad recently, and wanted to share it with you. We were talking about the move to Illinois and how hard it was. We were talking about what it is like to uproot your life and start over somewhere new. Then the subject of my moving around alot as a kid came up, and my dad apologized for about the zillionth time about the fact my home life as a child wasn't very stable. Bless his heart- I know he has genuine regrets for some of the decisions that were made. I have know that for a long time. I have known for the greater part of my life that all of the things that weren't so great about my childhood were not intentionally done by my parents. They made mistakes. I was affected by those mistakes. None of us is a perfect parent, myself included.   As he apologized (again), I heard myself interrupt him to say "No, Dad. Really. I don't hold a grudge about it. I know that it wasn't the l...

  We lost my Uncle Joe on Wednesday. It is a ridiculous statement really. He was only 56 years old. No major health problems that we knew of. Just out of nowhere, he is taken. Death isn't beautiful or romantic. It isn't like the movies. It is painful, tearful, emotionally draining and downright snotty. I have been rather lucky so far- I haven't experienced alot of loss in my life. Most of the people I love and am close to are still here. I am devastated to know that I will never have the chance to go visit him. I have been invited a zillion times over the last 10 years, and it just never seems to come together. We get busy. Too busy. We think we will do it later, next summer, next year....then suddenly, life throws a curve ball and all of your options are eliminated. Permanently.   Although losing him is hard for me, it is not even comparable with what my Grandmother is feeling. This is not the natural order of things. Parents are supposed to go first. No mother should hav...

   I am certain that for a long time I took them for granted. They were always just "there", so it never occurred to me how valuable they were in my life. At least when I was younger it didn't. In the last two years I began  journey to learn about my heritage and became an avid genealogist. Not only have a learned alot about my roots, but I have learned alot about who I am in the process.   During the course of the research of my family tree, I realized just how valuable certain people have been in my life. Not just in the ways that they loved and cared for me. Also in the way that knowing so much about where they came from has helped me have a greater sense of self. My paternal grandparents were instrumental in raising me. I spent the majority of my childhood in their home. It wasn't until I started digging into my roots that I realized how precious this was.   What started off as a geneaoligical journey has turned into something deeper for me. I realize that...